Ideas for addressing Internet safety with your teen

Condensed from the book “Sex, Drugs ‘n Facebook: a Parent’s Toolkit,” written by former UW School of Medicine and Public Health researcher Megan Moreno and co-authored by 23 of the school’s residents and students from a variety of backgrounds.

Trust Your Gut Because You Know Your Kid

A lot of what is important to remember about online safety can be taught by transferring how to handle real world dangers (for example, “stranger danger”) to those encountered virtually (for example, talking to people you don’t know online). You know how to engage your kids in conversation, and you can do a lot for them by simply asking about how they are using the Internet and what they are doing to protect themselves.

Collect Available Resources and Choose the Best Ones

Numerous doctors’ offices, schools, and other community avenues provide handouts at appointments, conferences, or meetings that give a brief overview of Internet safety topics. Additionally, stories seen on TV specials or in newspapers may provide new information. Collect as many of these resources as possible.

They may not all be the perfect tools, but you can choose the best ones for your family. Even everyday activities can be used to start a conversation about online safety. If your teenager is filling out an application for a summer job, you can use the opportunity to talk about being careful about the digital footprint he or she has created on Facebook that an employer may find.

Know the Sites Your Kids Are Using

While the risks of Internet use are present on many websites, they may show up in different ways. Each social networking website has a unique set of privacy settings, and each offers a unique way for individuals to express themselves. If your children join a new site, consider not only asking them about how they protect themselves on the site but also experiencing the site for yourself.

Should Parents Get a Facebook Profile?

As a parent, you may choose to use many of the tips and ideas in this book to help your children use the Internet safely, and you may even make a habit of getting to know the sites your children visit. As you think about getting to know these sites, you might give special consideration to Facebook.

Benefits

Just as with any new tool, Facebook presents new opportunities and new challenges to users. Having an account may help you understand the lingo and features of the site. So when your daughter mentions that she “posted a new link” or “updated her Timeline” you will really know what this means. As Facebook is always changing, having an account will help you anticipate and understand these changes, and then be able to advise your teen on what new risks or benefits the changes may bring. Having your own account may also help you understand some of the potential risks.

Challenges

Having a Facebook account may seem doable to you as a parent, but communicating with your younger teen on the site might seem a bit more challenging. You may think that a child would be unlikely to accept a friend request from you. We have heard stories of some parents who have only allowed younger teens to have a Facebook profile if they accepted their parents’ friend request. Even with a friend link established, some children and young adults may be worried about displaying the same Facebook identity to their parents as they do to their friends.

Pay Attention to and Provide Feedback on Your Adolescent’s Displays

Whether or not you are friends with your teen on Facebook, it is worth viewing their displayed content. Some families schedule weekly check-ins as a young teen starts out using Facebook, and decrease the frequency over time as more trust and experience is developed.